OUT OF THE BLUE

Dear All,

An unexpected visit on Friday afternoon: one of the Dr's came into my room and informed me that I could go home! Thrilled and surprised all rolled into one. But the thing that made my heart leap most of all was my counts, which had taken a sudden turn for the better all on their own - well maybe due to a change in antibiotics - or possibly even a reflexology treatment given to me by Amanda two days earlier... Whatever, the babies have got their act together and building neutrophils and white blood cells. Over the past week they were continually falling (along with my mood) till neutrophils had reached 0.60 and I had the possibility of having to have further stomach injections of GCSF (bad bone side effects).  I was panicking that my bone marrow cupboard was bare and that nothing was regenerating. Its so easy to get into a spiral of anxiety.  Anyway, it all turned right in the end. The white paper given to me by Dr Robin showed counts standing up and being counted. Mel came and collected us from Kings at 8pm. A ride home in my car. Whoopee! My very own car. Seems an age since I was sitting in it. Miss driving so much.

Been back at Grassmount for almost 2 days now (sorry for extended delay in blog publication!). Very tired. No appetite. But sleeping better than in the hospital. Still hours worth of medications to sort out and take everyday. Nausea a bit more under control. Lost some lbs, which is a good thing. Hair growing back in strange patches. So I look very chemo head still. Some areas full of hair, others virtually bald still. They say that after TBI hair often grows back thinner. Seems that may be happening  to me.  Got dressed this afternoon and managed to walk once round the roundabout hanging onto Luigi's arm. Lots of bird song. A saxaphone playing out of a window somewhere.  Flat grey February sky.  It was good to stretch my legs. Stiff with lack of exercise. My neighbour appeared with a Welcome Home bottle of wine, which was very much appreciated!

Tuesday I have a bone marrow biopsy to look forward too...My back is littered with apple-corer scars. My hip bone must look like a sieve. Hope there is still bone left to core... All my clinic appointments, kick into gear again, blood tests, urine samples, nebulisers  etc etc. I hope this time round I can stay well for a bit longer. In fact a lot longer would be good. Problem is the reactivation of viruses - which normally my immune system would bat away without a second glance, but this new one is going to take time to get itself into adult defence mode - so I am always facing the possibility of succumbing to something relatively innocuous.  Nor do I need to get noro virus or any type of flu. Lots of dodging and diving.

I am a great aunt for the Fourth Time. Kenzo Clode born on February 1st in Hong Kong. A dragon baby. I hope he roars and roars. Well done Jack and Aska!

Greetings all, round and round. Too tired to write anymore. Except thanks for all your loyal and continued support. Gives me huge strength and really helps when times get emotionally tough. Ian, Sound and Vision was the exact song I had in mind when referencing all those blues! Great minds etc and thanks for the Donegal lullabies.

Back soon. tch xx  ps. hoping for a liverpool win this afternoon, then Utd sitting comfortably on top.