BLUE LIGHTS

Ciao Tutti!

Been an eventful few weeks since my last update…

Soon after my birthday I got sick. Woke one night in the silent early hours and started to throw up. Endlessly. Then started to get a fever which climbed and climbed until my thermometer hit 40 degrees. I called an ambulance. Was blue lighted down to Kings and wheeled in to A&E. Arrived about 4am. Was immediately dripped up with fluids, antibiotics, anti-sickness, paracetamol. No hickman line, so had cannulars stuck into every vein it seemed (actually, it was two, but it seemed more with all the poking and prodding that went on - my veins are hard to get into). My blood pressure was very high, so I had wires stuck all over me and hooked up to a heart monitoring machine - lots of bleeping and numbers flashing up and down. Urgent blood tests revealed that my neutrophils and white count had fallen though the roof (after being good only 24 hours earlier) signifying infection.  I was put into an isolation room accompanied by monitors and drips.  Lulu was her usual wonder-woman-self and appeared half way through the day with a bag from home, a bottle of ginger beer and my hot-pink duvet. The haematology team arrived in force and clucked around me like wonderful mother hens. I remained in A&E till 5pm and then was wheeled up to Davidson Ward.

And then the usual routine began: 6 days of intravenous antibiotics, X-rays, scans, daily weighing, hideous food, lots of visitors (thanks my south and north london teams, you were great).  My throat that had been troubling me since early January was still very painful and causing me some distress. I had to endure a very uncomfortable endoscopy one afternoon. They discovered a small ulcer type lesion at the back of my tongue - so I was sent off for a full head and neck MRI scan.  I managed to get myself completely wound up that I had some kind of mouth cancer. It is so easy to fall into the trap of worse-case-scenario. A sore throat that won't clear up, a lesion on my tongue, ear ache - all ingredients that could add up to something very sinister. And in my fragile state, it did. Talk about being my own worst enemy! However, a week later got result of scan and it was confirmed that nothing could be seen and all was ok. Though, as a little aside, I still have a painful tongue - despite endless gargling and mouth sprays and whatever.  Food has become a problem again, partly because it is difficult to eat and also everything tastes foul and leaves a horrible after-taste in my mouth. Some stuff I just can't eat anymore - mostly dairy based things. I am being sent off for allergy tests in a few weeks time. Apparently it is quite common after cord blood transplant to develop food allergies.

I was kept in for a week while I finished a strong course of intravenous antibiotics.  Got home - life picked up where it had left off - gardening, walking, sainsburys, friends for tea etc (I really need to expand on my daily routine). Was back for four days and then blow-me-down, the whole thing happened again! Exactly the same. Throwing up. Fever. Ambulance (took 2 hours to arrive, so must write to London Ambulance Service to complain). A&E. Dive-bombing blood counts.  Cannulars poked into my veins (oh, ouch!) Hooked up to drips.  Intravenous antibiotics. This time I was put onto Waddington Ward. Waddington Ward is good. It has windows with-a-view. I got to see sky and moon and clouds and planes on their way to Heathrow.  Consultant visits me and throws his eyes to heaven, "You again!" I tell him my theory that maybe I am allergic to avocado pears - as on both occasions I had eaten them a few hours before getting sick.  He is interested in this, though, as he points out, it doesn't account for the fevers that accompany the sickness.  After 48 hours he says I can go home with a course of oral antibiotics.  I say "No more antibiotics please, my body is sick of medications" He seems happy with this and I skip out of the hospital dressed only in my polka-dot-blue dressing gown and polka-dot blue slippers.  Skip, of course is an exaggeration - however, I did get out of there as fast as I could wheel my bag-of-bits down the long shiny-clean corridors. And I did only have my dressing gown and slippers to travel in. I think the taxi man was a bit taken aback when he spied me standing on the steps complete with white face-mask…

I have now been home for ten days. Apart from my tongue and limited diet, all is well. At clinic on Tuesday my bloods counts were the best they have been since before the transplant. Everything hitting normal levels.  Cannot tell you what a brilliant feeling that is. My baby cells doing their thing and doing it well.  Keep it up guys. I love you to bits.

The garden is starting to reveal signs of spring - daffodils starting to shoot up - early clematis starting to produce bright green shoots. Have done some severe pruning - passion flower, lavender, clematis, rose. Wendy coming over this weekend for a sort-the-garden afternoon. Have alliums to plant.  A young pair of robins are regular visitors along with squirrels, blue tits and blackbirds.  Oh, and a new baby wood mouse appeared the other day scuttling amongst the flower pots. Things are moving on. I am starting to think about work again and have been playing around with some simple animation apps on my iPad. So wish I still had my studio to return to. I feel ready to start again, but have nowhere to go to. I will have to set up a temporary space in my garage. And thats going to take some sorting! Its mountain high with stuff from Havelock Walk…

Enough now, I need to make myself some spinach soup. Hope everyone has remained dry over these last few stormy weeks. Wish I could have witnessed some of those Atlantic seas though - wild and exhilarating. Especially thinking of all of you down in Somerset. Fingers crossed this mild weather is here to stay for a while. But I wonder if we have a deep siberian blast coming our way?  Take care wherever you are - north south east or west - all around the globe.  Love to all and everyone.
Back soon tch xx