TOTAL BODY IRRADIATION

Quickest update as so tired. Trust me, never have this process. I was stripped virtually naked, sat on some chaise longue-ish type of contraption, electric nodes stuck all over my body. I was then packed with lasagne type material (bulious?) which was rolled and squeezed into all the cracks and crevices around my body, from head to foot. So I be made into a solid square shape. Had to wear a very heavy jacket type thing that was filled with slabs of this hard jelly like substance to protect my lungs. Then everyone disappears and a I am left to be zapped with TBI. The room this takes places in, far from being shiney and high tech with state of the art machinery,  resembles a 5th form locker room. Odd bits and pieces seemingly left randomly about: some thing that looks like a large body board leant up against the wall, a pile of books all higgildy piggildy, boxes of paper towels, chairs stacked in a corner... even the thick lead square that has to be hung near the back of my head, is held up with washing line and adjustable knots. Honestly, the whole thing feels like something my brother and I would have knocked up in dads garage - Heath Robinson style.

I am blasted both sides for about twenty minutes. I have to remain totally still throughout. Difficult with a the jelly weight hanging off my chest. I concentrate on my breathing. At one point I swear I  feel a nano second of high pitched electric volt pass through me and I see a flash of my skeleton, pure white bones. I guess thats just my mind playing tricks. More breathing. There is a camera pointing down at me. Locked away in a safe room, the medical team are tracking my every move. Then it's over. Everyone reappears and I am disassembled, lasagne packs pulled away, jelly chest protectors hauled off.  Then  everyone vanishes into thin air and I am left alone to dress. They don't score high on communication points. I find Luigi and within about twenty minutes we are taxied back to Kings. For those of a sensitive disposition don't read further...

Three minutes before we make it back to the hospital I am heaving up in the back of the taxi (had the forsight to bring cardboard sick bowls). And so a horrid, uncomfortable and exhausting afternoon begins. I am in and out of bed, head stuck into cardboard bowls for most of the afternoon. Half way through my bum decides to give away spectacularly too. Oh lordy, what a mess this is turning out to be! Nurses fill me with seemingly every anti-nemetic known to man. Nothing much helps. Even my upmarket consultant comes in and sits on the bed rubbing my back as a heave up yellow bile for the sixth time. "How sweet and caring" I manage to think though my blur and moan. She sharp cookie too and prescribes me something that reducers the sickness but more importantly puts me whack out to sleep for three hours. I wake and see Luigi at the end of the bed. I manage to eat half a cheese sandwich and a yogurt.

This is my first few feet into the mine-field. No going back now. Only way is forward. Keep shouting from the sidelines you all. Much love and off for more desperate sleep.
High 5 round the world, so great to hear both international voices and local voices.

tch xx